Living With Mental Health – CouponMamaUK

My good friend Emma Mumford from Extreme Couponing And Deals recently wrote a blog post all about her struggles with mental health. Reading her story really opened my eyes and inspired me to tell my own story. I have always been really embarrassed about my issues and have done my best over the years to hide them. I always feared I would be judged or labeled crazy! Since reading Emma’s blog I noticed the huge amount of people who came forward, this made me feel like I wasn’t alone. So thank you Emma and here’s my story…

In 2005 I was diagnosed with panic disorder, I used to have up to 6 panic attacks a day. Being only 15 years old at the time I had no idea what was happening to me and honestly thought I was dying. My heart would race so fast It felt like it was going to explode, my hands would go all tingley due to me hyperventilating, my whole body would shake and the fear I felt was uncontrollable. The best way I can try to describe it to someone who has never experienced a panic attack is that feeling you get when someone makes you jump, when it feels like your heart is racing for a few seconds and you get that butterfly feeling in your tummy. A panic attack kind of feels like that but can last a lot longer and it’s very hard to shift the sensations.

When my daughter was born in 2006 my panic attacks spiraled out of control to the point where I just couldn’t leave my house. My doctor diagnosed me with Agoraphobia and post natal depression. Most people think Agoraphobia is just a fear of big open spaces but this is not the case at all. My main fear was that I would have a panic attack in public, I would make a complete fool of myself and wouldn’t be able to get home. I spent a whole year stuck in my house, only going out with my mum to the local shop or to the park next to my house.

Sometimes my panic attacks would get so bad that on several occasions I phoned an ambulance convinced I was having a heart attack. The symptoms can be very similar with chest pains dizziness ect and Heart Disease runs in my family. I actually watched my poor granddad die from a heart attack when I was just 5 years old! My doctor was very sympathetic of my fears and arranged for me to have an ECG. Everything came back clear and my heart was completely healthy. Now I knew for sure that it was a mental health problem and nothing physical I started looking for help in the form of counselling and CBT.

The counselling and CBT helped to a certain degree but I also have quite severe health anxiety so if I get a headache I convince myself it’s a brain tumor and so on.. Google is my worst enemy and I became obsessed with typing in symptoms of all sorts of diseases that I could have. With panic attacks they make you avoid things you used to enjoy, for years I avoided coffee, cola, chocolate anything that was a stimulant and could possibly bring on a panic attack. I once had a panic attack on a bus and have avoided them ever since.

Most people don’t even know I have these issues because I’m so good at hiding them but I have lost quite a few friends over the years due to me being too scared to go out. I would make up excuses like my daughter has a cold or I have to be up early. My partner is amazingly supportive and drives me a little further out of my comfort zone everyday. I am now at the point where I can take my daughter to school and pick her up on my own and go to the local shops on my own. I know this might not seem like much to someone who has never felt the way I have but to me this is a huge success!

It took a lot for me to write this and share the most private parts of my life that I have kept so well hidden all these years, so I really hope it helps other people suffering with mental health issues to stand up and tell their stories so we can all break the stigma that surrounds mental health. Embrace yourself and be proud of who you are!! 

There are also quite a few Facebook support pages where you can talk to people you can relate to. Since joining these pages a few years ago I have met some incredible people who battle through everyday and come out stronger! I have so much respect for one person in particular called Sarah. I started talking to her a few years ago and found out she has her own Youtube channel where she talks about her struggles with mental health and gives advice! You can watch Sarah’s inspirational Vlogs HERE . Don’t forget to like and subscribe! 

You don’t need to feel like you are alone! Here are a list of places you can find help and support:

Time To change-Click Here You can also make a pledge to end the stigma that surrounds mental health

Mind-Click Here There is also a section for people who need urgent help

Young Minds-Click Here

Rethink-Click Here

Please note that these are charities that run purely on the donations they receive so if you can then I urge you to donate!

Please also sign this petition it’s for a great cause